Father.. . I am feeling down... again

 Hi Father,

So sorry that you have to hear this from me so often. 

I am feeling down again. Another friend, Kathleen found a job in Palo Alto Technologies. 

All of them are like so fast. Why is my resume really cannot make it?

Where is my next job? I know you have the best plan and I am really hanging in there, but its getting so hard. I am just depressed.

I don't know what is out there for me already. Am I so unqualified on papers that I am just not into the eyes of anyone / any company?

Everyone else got a job, a better position and even a higher pay. I feel so useless Lord, to be honest.

I know thanks to your provision, our family do not lack. But now its not the lack I am feeling. It's the wake up every morning and don't know what to do and what is the value you bring to the family. I don't think I reach the point of super rich and can spend like crazy. I still want to work to earn some supplies for my barns and put more into my investment. 

I recently signed up for a $20 e-store to sell products, I need time to explore the options, which I plan to. Lord, give me the discernment if I should invest $3K into making this store work. At least other taitais are shopping for branded goods, but I never really like those stuffs, so I am thinking if I should channel my money into a future investment. 

You would know my wish is to have an e-commerce store for supplementary income etc. So its a chance to make it come true, SO THE QUESTION IS... SHOULD I INVEST?

I am a digital marketer, so things follow up after should not be that difficult. 

During this time of waiting and looking, I can start on this. I am feeling very bad of using all Mark's money and no contribution to the family. I really really tried not to spend as much already.

And I hate it when I keep seeing people viewing on my profile to see my next job, coz I have no updates as I really have no place yet. 

I am declaring myself to be the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I am out of tears already Lord, coz my heart hurts so bad. My parents things are already stressing me out. My friends keep getting jobs offers so fast that it hits a double blow. My husband is so so kind and understanding that I feel so guilty about it. He should not be working so hard but yet the family spends his money and he did not spend any on himself. 

I don't know what and how to express anymore. I will look for jobs again tomorrow. Till the next time Lord. Amen.