The Day I Cry

 Dear Lord,

We are facing this dilemma again...

Just as i thought my Alexis is recovering, good enough to handle school in a slower pace... however she is not. She keeps saying she is not, but in my eyes, she is, so what is what? I don't know how long I can handle this.

I don't want her to change school because she is accomplishing her choir achievements in PL. She is a student conductor which is what she wanted.

There are no other schools in Hougang that I would want her to go into. 

I just find that it will be a waste to change school and just for that last 1 year, change books, change uniform, change everything. 

I hate it, why Lord, why everything has to be my family? Why? I want to be out of this dark valley, Lord pls deliver us all. Financial situations, my kid mental condition, the older one failing her school subjects and attitude towards me. 

My mood is really really really lousy today Lord and for the 1st time I cried, not sure if its coz I cannot handle my own disappointment, that if A changed school, she will have to go to a normal average sec sch in the neighbourhood.

Then my job seeking suitable is a bleak. I have been trying since Mar to apply, but coming Aug, and I only have 1 interview. Didn't they say Digital Marketers are in demand in the market? Then why Lord, am I not qualified for a better prospects and higher paid job? But you are the Greater One, Lord, you qualifies all of us. 

Abba, I am going to end here now. My rants are endless and I know You have it all in Your Hands, I trust in You, my Lord. AMEN.