Hating this feeling of being low and in the valley

 Dearest Father God,

Last week, my daughter was admitted into the hospital - Institute of Mental Health, due to the reason that she wants to end her life.

I have asked so many times, WHY Father, why me, why my kid?

She looks so normal on the outside, and so pretty as well. Why is this happening to us? To this family?

Why are our kids relationships so strained? We just dun understand. They are only 2 of them in this world only. Why can't they just get along and be loving to one another like the other siblings?

And as a mom, I nv thought of hurting my kids, never intentionally. If unintentionally, then I have nothing to say, but my initial point is never to hurt them. I could have hurt them accidentally, without knowing. Why do kids nowsdays so different from us of that time?

Abba, I am also feeling low about my job seeking. I know there will be a great door opened for me, I have faith. However its so hard waiting.  Is it wrong that I do not want to anyhow throw in my resume and just wanting an MNC, a partner vendor, a big company with good benefits? I want a career Lord, one for me to just retire in abundance, with bonuses etc. Enough for me to clear all those debts and enough to bless others, bless my own kids and then still see surplus. 

I am worried for not able to provide for my kids education, I have to place it in your hands Lord.

Also Lord, pls solve my housing issue, I can stay with my MIL, but I really need a room for my Alexis. Please let Mark stop thinking abt the financial sense thing of the house, if everything gota see, I think I will lose my sanity.

Please Lord, bless the trading that Mark is so enthus on, if its meant to be, please prosper him. Its been so many years, I really dun see ANYTHING from it. He keeps saying for retirement and all, I really really dun see it. I rather go invest somewhere else. I am tired of hearing it. Please Lord, let our life be better, easier and more money to do investment. 

Every month I am clearing $600 worth of debts, its juz crazy. I duno the rest of the pple that owes $100K++ and more that kind, how are they going to clear,

Nonetheless, Thank You Abba, for listening to my rants. My heart is going crazy, its so frustrated until i just wana cry and throw things. Sigh.

I wana be lifted up LORD! Please honour Your Word in the bible Lord, in You we trust. 

Amen.