God... I focus on the finished work of Christ...

Dear Father,
It's been so long now since I started looking for a job. I do not understand why there is like nothing for me out there. Can you tell me why Lord? I am so tired now Father and the devil is hitting onto me. I feel very worthless. So what I have a degree? Look at what my peers are doing? I just wanna rant Father. I do not want to look unto negative things. However, when month end comes, when bills are received and when I looked into my bank account, I am one word DEMORALISED. I remembered the work of our Lord Jesus. I know that everything will come to pass. But when Lord sometimes I ask and I am scared of the answer.

I love my husband Lord, that's why I want to support him in his work and being a Proverbs 31 wife. It's so hard Lord when I see debts piling. I want to shout at him to stop his trading thing and go out to get a job. But I know its his passion Lord. How to do tat? Fine. I will go out and work to stablise the family. But I can't find any. Day after day... its affecting me too. Coz I am unable to dig anymore money to pay for expenses. I am down to my last already. I have almost used up all my insurance money tat came back. I tapped into my friend's acct. I duno how to pay back if I cannot get to work.

Father, its so scary to me. I have so much fear. I scare my love will turn into hate. I scare my fear will leave me crippled. Give me the strength Father. Let me have what it takes to carry on. I know you will never forsake me. I know you love me Lord. I am scare of the word Tomorrow. I am scared waking up the next day, having all those negative things into my mind. I hate it. I absolutely hate it.
I can live simple. I can stay in my own house. I can do without many things. But Lord, I don't want to worry about bread on the table. I don't want to worry about this and about that especially when it comes to money.

I don't even know when it comes to job, am I considered picky? I just want somewhere not to far from my place to travel. I pray for a job tat I like and will stay. I pray for good colleagues and good bosses. I pray for a salary tat I deserved and justified for. I really duno what went wrong. Be it in me or career or whatever is going on in my life. Lord pls take it all and set my path straight Lord!!


I am thankful tat I am still waking up to each day.
I am thankful that I am still able to survive which I duno how.
I am thankful that I know many thing that maybe other dun.

I just want to commit all into Your Hands Father... Amen.