My Abba Loves Me!

It's been a while since I have blogged... most of the time, its about life and its not that nice because it has taken a toll on me. I have all the complaints on another blog. Hahahahahahaha

I guess I need a lot of revelation to know that my Abba loves me despite of everything and that whenever I rest, He will work on my behalf. I tried very hard to let my Abba do all that for me, but seriously I find it so hard.

However, I am still very thankful for my life that I don't have to face in term of craps from family members, even though mine is not a very very loving one. Talking about my parents side, not my very own.

M has to face a crappy sister who only knows $$. J has a hurtful mother that also know only about $$. A is a single mother, who worries about $$ all the time. And me...? Ya, I am a terrible example too. I am a homemaker... totally no income. I have to rely on my hubby, who I love dearly. BUT... there is a catch. My hubby's wish is to become a trader. And trader means self-employed. Self-employed unless very established don't bring in a lot of income until you are successful. Now I am at this dilemma. I wish my hubby would have those successful career like his brother. High post in the company and high income, so that I dun need to worry about money. Then again, he would also probably dun have that much time for me.

I seriously hated the feeling of lack. I hate lack and I hate it when I feel lack. Its the yuckiest feelings ever. I juz want to have enough. Enough for spending, enough in bank account and enough to bless others. This is the live simple extend. I am thankful to God for taking away my feelings of comparison and covetness. I used to have these struggles. I want a condo, I want a car and I seriously wants a maid. I always asked God why do other people have it and I don't? I can cry over my desire to stay in a condo coz I wanted it so badly.

Now, I still harbor the thoughts of having a condo with nice full windows with facilities. I don't think I really want a landed coz I hate to deal with the creepy crawlies. And also to pay ridiculous prices for it. It's quite common for people in my country to desire all these. Especially the young people. They will laugh at your idea of living within your means.

For me now... I juz want food on the table. I can only look up to my Abba for His provision. For my hubby's breakthrough in his trading. I have 2 younger children and a puppy to feed. I know God has big plans for me and I believe and claim that all these things will come in due time when God thinks that it's time I will have them. His plans will be the best plan. I need that faith... I need to cross that faith bridge. I need to always look up to Him.

So Abba Father, I claim and receive Your word on Mark 11:23-24 "I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believed that you've received it, it will be yours." AMEN!